Independence Is Not a Bad Word

 

Image 

Independence (Taken from Dictionary.com)

noun

1. Also, independency. the state or quality of being independent.

2. freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

3. Archaic. a competency.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being independent!  I can stop this blog right there.  However, when many professional women and viewed as independent, some may find this synonymous with Bitch, Bitchy or equivalent words.  Independence as you can see from the definition has no negative connotation.  What it means is that you have freed yourself from the dependence of others to do the things you need done. 

 

For single women it may mean learning how to change your tire and check your oil.  It may also mean know how to change light bulbs or shoveling your own snow.  It can also mean financial independence, where you are not waiting or relying on someone, anyone to take care of you, this could be your parents or significant other.  Being independent in your thinking is also just as important.  Allowing others to control your thoughts, and feelings can make you dependent on them.  Learn to think and reason for yourself and your become a true practitioner of independence.     

 

It is not as difficult as you think to become independent.  The first thing you need to do is to resign yourself to doing whatever you may need to do to become independent.  This may mean severing ties with some things and some people in your life.  It may also mean taking the time to learn about cars or home improvement (see the blog about Girl’s Night Out).  Be intentional and deliberate about your thoughts and feeling and own them. 

 

As much as some people may make independence out to be a bad word, know that it is not true.  Independence is a much a state a mind than anything else.  For those who are spiritual, the Bible tells us to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2b).  As you move through life know that you are ultimately responsible for your own destiny.  Never allow anyone or anything to be the captain of your ship.  And the next time someone refers to you as a Bitch or Bitch just smile and say No, I am Independent!.

Waiting for What?

Image

Many people spend time waiting for things to be ‘perfect’ before moving on to something else.  Married people wait, single people wait, parents wait, and grandparents wait. Things are often put off until the ‘perfect’ time, the perfect season the perfect financial situation, the perfect something.  While waiting life and time keeps on moving.  So my question this week is what are you waiting for?

 I have had several conversations with friends and family where people were waiting for the perfect time to do something.  Some people postponed going back to school, because of work or money. Some people postpone vacations because of lack of finances or not enough vacation time.  Some people are waiting to find the perfect mate or until the kids are out of the house.  My question is, ‘is there ever really a perfect time?’

 In my opinion there is never really a perfect time or perfect timing.  Time and life is filled with swift transition.  One day it is New Year’s Eve and then you look up and you are celebrating Memorial Day or the Fourth of July.  It just shows how quickly time passes us by.  What do we do to live the life of our dreams instead of waiting for the perfect time?

 Keep working toward your goals.  Do not let minor things get in the way of you accomplishing what you want to do.  These minor things may be other people, time, money or other responsibilities.  With the proper planning and preparation you can make things happen in your life.

 Remember to not bite off more than you can handle.  If you are planning to go on your dream vacation, plan, save, sacrifice and then go.  Be diligent about what you want and how to achieve your goals.  Take things one day at a time and make sure you tackle tasks in a manner that is comfortable for you.

 

Never say never.  Never seems so permanent.  Maybe begin to incorporate not right now into your vocabulary.  You never know what may happen and how your dreams may be just within your reach.

Be realistic.  It may take you five or ten years to make that trip to Paris.  That is fine.  Work within your limitations and do what you need to do in the meantime.  That may mean cutting back on the trips to the restaurants or the store purchasing the latest fashions.  Look at what you have and what you need to make your dreams happen and make an honest assessment.

 The moral of all this is to stop waiting.  Make plans to pursue your goals, dreams and desires and do not let anything or anyone stand in your way.  These things may take time, energy and a great deal of effort but anything worth having is worth working and fighting for.  You may have to take baby steps, but remember that “All things are possible”.