Independence Is Not a Bad Word



Independence (Taken from


1. Also, independency. the state or quality of being independent.

2. freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

3. Archaic. a competency.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with being independent!  I can stop this blog right there.  However, when many professional women and viewed as independent, some may find this synonymous with Bitch, Bitchy or equivalent words.  Independence as you can see from the definition has no negative connotation.  What it means is that you have freed yourself from the dependence of others to do the things you need done. 


For single women it may mean learning how to change your tire and check your oil.  It may also mean know how to change light bulbs or shoveling your own snow.  It can also mean financial independence, where you are not waiting or relying on someone, anyone to take care of you, this could be your parents or significant other.  Being independent in your thinking is also just as important.  Allowing others to control your thoughts, and feelings can make you dependent on them.  Learn to think and reason for yourself and your become a true practitioner of independence.     


It is not as difficult as you think to become independent.  The first thing you need to do is to resign yourself to doing whatever you may need to do to become independent.  This may mean severing ties with some things and some people in your life.  It may also mean taking the time to learn about cars or home improvement (see the blog about Girl’s Night Out).  Be intentional and deliberate about your thoughts and feeling and own them. 


As much as some people may make independence out to be a bad word, know that it is not true.  Independence is a much a state a mind than anything else.  For those who are spiritual, the Bible tells us to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2b).  As you move through life know that you are ultimately responsible for your own destiny.  Never allow anyone or anything to be the captain of your ship.  And the next time someone refers to you as a Bitch or Bitch just smile and say No, I am Independent!.