I’m Every Woman

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Most of us are familiar with the female anthem “I’m Every Woman” originally made famous by Chaka Khan and then remixed and remastered by the late, great Whitney Houston.  When it comes on te radio we can often be found in our cars or in the shower singing along with them.  As I sat back and reflected on my life as a Single Professional Woman, one of the things that I am repeatedly reminded of is that I am in fact Every Woman.

What does this mean?  Does it mean that I am one of those emasculating females who feels that feels that men are expendable or that I don’t need a man because I am every woman.  Absolutely not.  It means that as a fact of life, I have been forced for whatever reason to be every woman.  As I live and move throughout my life I realize and recognize that in my life it is not lost on my that I have to depend on myself for everything.  The bottom line is if I don’t work, I don’t eat, I don’t pay bills, I don’t drive, I don’t pay for where I live.  Though I do have family, as an adult working woman it is my responsibility to take care of myself and to make sure that my needs are met.  This is the reality until I am married or until I can no longer care for myself.

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Recent census statistics show that single, professional, African American women are the fastest and largest growing demographic in this society.  What this means is that for whatever reason we are delaying marriage longer than ever before.  What this also means is that we have more responsibility in life than ever before.  Many of us manage careers.  Many manage careers and children.  Some of us manage careers, children and aging parents.  Some of us work.  Some of us work and go to school.  Some of us work more than two jobs, not because we want to but because we have to.  Some of us enjoy being single and the certain since of freedom singleness brings.  Some of us are dating or in relationships and may even live with significant others.  Others desire to be married or partnered.  Whatever our reality may be, the fact remains that we are still Every Woman.

As the song says there are things that we do naturally.  Our day may consist of the gym, work, shopping for groceries or household items, time with friends and/or family whether in person or on the phone, parental duties, cooking, cleaning, work we brought home because everything does not always get done in eight hours or whatever the case may be.  These are the things that make us Every woman.

Im every woman

I salute and applaud all of the women who find themselves in this category.  It is not always easy and it is not always without some struggle or compromise.  There are good days and great days and of course there are bad days.  There are girls’ nights out, trips with family and/or friends and time for manis and pedis.  There may be time to date, time to burn the midnight oil for that next promotion or career advancement.  There may be appointment with parents or arrangements made for care for parents, or the same arrangements for children.

After all of that exhausting work and responsibility, the next time you hear the song I’m Every Woman, smile to yourself and think about how you manage to make all of those things work and how you do it with little or no effort or complaint.  You just do it.  Think of those you love and those who love you and do a little dance because you deserve it.  Remember there is not anything wrong with being Every Woman, it is just your station at this point in life and that is fine.  Here’s to Every Woman…it’s  all in me…and you..

The New Normal

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There is a fact that America has to face.  Married life is not the norm anymore.  In fact there are more single in the world now more than ever before.  This is becoming the new normal.  Watch out world because here we come.

According to the US Census Bureau, single, professional, African American women are the largest growing demographic in the United States.  There are more single women that are heading households and running things.  Society would have us to think that there is something wrong with us, that we are too this or not enough of that (insert your this or that here).  The reality of the situation is that we are working more on us and less on please others.  We are learning that we do no have to apologize for getting that advanced degree or working longer hours so we can get that promotion.  As Beyoncé says “Who Run the World!”

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To all of the single women out there it is time to come out of hiding, it is time to no longer be ashamed because you are single.  As a matter of fact it is your time to shine.  It is time that we stop conforming to society to be who they think we should be and be proud of who we are and where we are at this point in our lives.  There is nothing wrong with marriage, I am a proponent of marriage when people marry for the right reasons and not just because they are lonely or pregnant.  There may be a time when marriage comes, but until then God has granted us lives to be lived not to be stagnant and waiting for what may or may not be.

The New Normal is the single, confident woman.  The woman that knows that she can be a dynamo in the boardroom and a loving and caring wife.  The New Normal is the woman who does not compromise because of some imaginary clock or the smooth talker that is attempting to sell her a dream.  The New Normal is the single woman that can be a Boss and a Blessing at the same time without skipping a beat.  The New Normal is the woman who is single and happy, not a depressed ‘spinster’ waiting on her knight in rusty armor.  We are the New Normal and we are proud because of this not in spite of this.

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