What’s Right with Being Single?

Independent owned

As a single woman I have often been asked why aren’t you married? I have also heard the question “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why don’t you have a man?” It is as if being single is a horrible predicament to be in and my life is incomplete without attachment. I have heard the question so many times that I have begun to come up with clever answers to the question. Recently, a family friend asked my mother when I was getting married, my response was “ask her what is wrong with simply asking how I am doing?” As a woman of a certain age, it seems as being single or unmarried is a death sentence.

Maybe society has it wrong and those of us who are single have it right. The last time I read the Bible it said “he who finds a wife finds a good thing.” I don’t remember reading everyone will find a wife and it will be a good thing. Maybe marriage is not for everyone, just look at the divorce rates. Maybe there are some people who will simply never marry and my question is what’s wrong with that?

single-ladies-girls-women-quotes-sayings-party

Far too often we get wrapped up in what other people expect of us or with how they think we should live our lives. We work hard trying to keep up appearances and be who others want us to be without being true to ourselves. I have been there, done that and have a T-shirt. I have come to the realization that this is my life and I must live it and own it, mistakes, successes and singleness. My life is what I make it and if I am happy, healthy and satisfied with my decisions why should it matter to anyone else.

single-ladies-girls-women-quotes-sayings-wise-deep

The moral of this blog is to do you. Love you. Be in love with you. Date yourself. Make sure that you are happy and complete and allow the cards to fall where they may. You may marry or you may remain single. You do not have to be miserable and lonely just because you are single. You have to live your life and be prepared for the blessings that will come your way.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being single. Don’t let anyone convince or corner you into thinking that it is. That is their issue not yours. Do not feel incomplete or diminished because you are not married. There are many married people that are not happy and miserable. Marriage cannot change how you feel at your core. Enjoy your life and cherish the moments that come. Learn from your relationship mistakes and allow you head and your heart to guide you to having and loving the life you have. All the Single Ladies Put Your Hands UP!

Shows about Single Women (Where are they Now?)

pink tv 2

If you came of age in the 80’s or 90’s like I did you saw television shows that had single women in them.  The 90’s was the height of shows about single, professional women with Living Single, Girlfriends and Sex and the City.  My question is what happened to this type of television programming?

There was nothing like waiting to see the adventures of the urban friends on Living Single.  Many of the characters were people we could relate to or similar to people we knew or aspired to be.  From the independent, sharp witted Maxine to Sinclair with her visionary ideas and off handed ways of doing things, the show made us laugh and made us think at the same time.  The show demonstrated the fun that happens as you are growing as well as the struggles and issues that can arise in daily life.  As I watch re-runs now, I think of how many of the things they experiences in the show I have since experienced in my coming of age.

livingsingle

Girlfriends was another popular show but I never really got into it.  I have tried to watch re-runs (as they are on often), but I just cannot get into the characters like I did Living Single and Sex and the City.  I still however appreciate that the characters in Living Single and Girlfriends had some similarities and offered some laughs as well as some moments of self-reflection.  This is what is missing, in my opinion, from current television programming.

 Hero-Girlfriends-cast

Sex and the City was a more unrealistic view of life, especially for a young, black girl like me.  I do not know the experience of purchasing shoes that are the equivalent of car payment or the joys of going out most nights of the week.  Though the show remains one of my all-time favorites, it was a world of fantasy and excess that I will probably never know.  But the reality is that I still miss these types of television shows.

sex and the city

Now we are bombarded by reality television and the ins and outs of people’s lives that often seem extreme and ridiculous.  Long gone are the weekly escapades of the fictitious and fun characters we came to grow and love.  Even shows such as Single Ladies on VH1 miss the mark and fail to reach the standards set by shows such as Living Single, Girlfriends and Sex and the City.  Current television programming leaves much to be desired and too much personal information out in the open.  Bring back good programming for women!