I’m Every Woman

every woman

 

Most of us are familiar with the female anthem “I’m Every Woman” originally made famous by Chaka Khan and then remixed and remastered by the late, great Whitney Houston.  When it comes on te radio we can often be found in our cars or in the shower singing along with them.  As I sat back and reflected on my life as a Single Professional Woman, one of the things that I am repeatedly reminded of is that I am in fact Every Woman.

What does this mean?  Does it mean that I am one of those emasculating females who feels that feels that men are expendable or that I don’t need a man because I am every woman.  Absolutely not.  It means that as a fact of life, I have been forced for whatever reason to be every woman.  As I live and move throughout my life I realize and recognize that in my life it is not lost on my that I have to depend on myself for everything.  The bottom line is if I don’t work, I don’t eat, I don’t pay bills, I don’t drive, I don’t pay for where I live.  Though I do have family, as an adult working woman it is my responsibility to take care of myself and to make sure that my needs are met.  This is the reality until I am married or until I can no longer care for myself.

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Recent census statistics show that single, professional, African American women are the fastest and largest growing demographic in this society.  What this means is that for whatever reason we are delaying marriage longer than ever before.  What this also means is that we have more responsibility in life than ever before.  Many of us manage careers.  Many manage careers and children.  Some of us manage careers, children and aging parents.  Some of us work.  Some of us work and go to school.  Some of us work more than two jobs, not because we want to but because we have to.  Some of us enjoy being single and the certain since of freedom singleness brings.  Some of us are dating or in relationships and may even live with significant others.  Others desire to be married or partnered.  Whatever our reality may be, the fact remains that we are still Every Woman.

As the song says there are things that we do naturally.  Our day may consist of the gym, work, shopping for groceries or household items, time with friends and/or family whether in person or on the phone, parental duties, cooking, cleaning, work we brought home because everything does not always get done in eight hours or whatever the case may be.  These are the things that make us Every woman.

Im every woman

I salute and applaud all of the women who find themselves in this category.  It is not always easy and it is not always without some struggle or compromise.  There are good days and great days and of course there are bad days.  There are girls’ nights out, trips with family and/or friends and time for manis and pedis.  There may be time to date, time to burn the midnight oil for that next promotion or career advancement.  There may be appointment with parents or arrangements made for care for parents, or the same arrangements for children.

After all of that exhausting work and responsibility, the next time you hear the song I’m Every Woman, smile to yourself and think about how you manage to make all of those things work and how you do it with little or no effort or complaint.  You just do it.  Think of those you love and those who love you and do a little dance because you deserve it.  Remember there is not anything wrong with being Every Woman, it is just your station at this point in life and that is fine.  Here’s to Every Woman…it’s  all in me…and you..

Suffering in Silence

suffer in silence

As I browsed my Facebook timeline this morning, I saw a number of posts speaking to personal, deeply personal issues many of my Facebook friends have been going through.  Most of it was related to illness.  Other posts were related to attempted suicide and survival, still other posts were related to dating or the attempt to find a suitable mate.  Some people were facing diagnostic tests and surgeries while others were reflecting on how far they have come on their journey.  No matter what the circumstance was I am thankful that they had the courage and conviction to share what they had gone through.  Their testimony can lead to a breakthrough or deliverance for someone else.

As I reflect, there were many things that I have experienced in my life and I am thankful that God has given me the strength and at times the platform to share my life experiences.  I was the product of teenage parents, yet I did not repeat the cycle.  I have had various family members that were addicted to alcohol or drugs, which had significant impacts not just on my life but on the lives of other family members as well.  I was molested as a child and I have endured health challenges and relationship issues.  But through it all, I survived, I looked for lessons to be learned and I became a better person because of what I experienced and in spite of what I experienced.

read my mind

For people of faith we know that if it had not been for the Lord on our side… For those who are not people of faith, I am not sure where your strength and endurance comes from maybe role models or strong support system, but for those who believe, in the absence of role models and support systems we go to the Rock!  It tales strength and courage to make it through those challenges that seem impossible to bear.  It takes even more strength and courage to talk about your experiences and to be a beacon of hope for others. What I have learned is that as you GROW through what you GO through the lesson is lost on you.  It is more so for others so that they can see God in you and know that THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Stop suffering in silence.  We were not meant to do that.   We were meant to be a blessing to others, but, know that you cannot be a blessing until you have healed and dealt with the issues that you face.  You don’t want to try to help someone when you are still in the throes of your experiences.  Once you have healed, whether it be getting help from a professional, working on your own issues, reaching out to those who love you make sure to NOT suffer in silence.  And know that there is always a rainbow after the rain.

rainbow