Category: Blogger Life

STFU

Yep, you read the title correctly. STFU!

Recently I read a post that encouraged people to shut up. Of course after reflecting on the post I cannot find it to link it here. I will keep trying to find it and if and or when I do, I will share the link. The post startled me. Not because it was obnoxious or rude, but because there was so much truth to the post.

I have always been a talker, I was the child who had “talks too much” marked on her report card EVERY MARKING PERIOD, EVERY REPORT CARD. I was the one who would tell before the entire story had an ending. My grandmother often told me that my mouth would get me in trouble. What she actually said was, “That mouth of yours is going to get you in a world of trouble”. But I kept talking. I keep talking. My uncle used to say that it took him days to realized that I had cussed him out because of my extensive vocabulary and my use of words.

My mouth has assisted me in gaining a reputation of being bossy, opinionated, rude, direct and some other words I am certain were not said to my face and will not be repeated in my presence. The truth is that my mouth has saved me, and others at times. My mouth has been a voice for the scared and the voiceless. My voice has been a place of comfort for those that needed comforting, my voice has been an advocate for the underserved. I have used my voice to speak truth to power and the preach the gospel and to teach students. My voice has spoken at international conferences and empowerment events in several states. My voice has been heard in churches and on many virtual platforms. I have to say that I am a talking bad ass!

However, there are times when shutting up is the best option or the best advice. I am not sure of the psychological reason why I have felt the need to be vocal since I was a child. My mom used to tell me the “children are to be seen and not heard’, maybe that’s where silencing my voice started. Maybe being vocal was my middle finger to statements like that. As I age and mature, I am realizing that I don’t always need to say everything I’m thinking or what’s on my mind.

In certain situations I have learned that some things are better left unsaid. I am also learning that it is ok to let people be wrong about you. Those who want to know the truth or understand will seek it out. Some situations don’t require my help and there are times when I should just mind my own Black Business and STFU. The power of life and death lies in the tongue, you can speak life or death over your life or your situation and other situations so be careful.

I am now more intentional about what I say, who I say it too and how I say it. Even before reading the post about shutting up, I was working on curbing my tongue. Silence can golden and being quiet can promote peace. Be intentional about what you say and who you say it to and most importantly as mush as possible use your voice for good or STFU!

Be Blessed! Be Fabulous!

Whaaaaat’s Up?

It has been oh so long since I have written. Why? I can’t really say. So many reasons, no real reason at all. Mainly it was the pandammit (pandemic). It really did take a lot away from many of us. Some people lost loved ones, some people lost their jobs, some people lost their sanity. The vast amount of uncertainty with the added stress of news reports, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate and everything in between. It has been exhausting.

Figuring out a new way of living and navigating daily life has been hard. Really hard. Wearing a mask everywhere you go. Not the phony half smile, pretend mask we used to wear, but now we are actually wearing masks. Everywhere. All day everyday. From the time we leave the confines of our homes until the time we return…masks. And to be honest being nervous if you forget to mask or being in the presence of someone without a mask. Life as we know it is just different. The more things change, well the more they are changing.

I was able to change jobs during the pandemic. Moving from working from home 100% to being in an office 99% of the time. In the midst of a pandammit. It appears that COVID is not going anywhere and we just have to figure out how to live with it. Kind of like a chronic recurring boil that never really healed and never really left. Just there waiting to come back at the most inconvenient time, whenever it wants to no matter what you think or feel.

Photo by Christina Morillo on Pexels.com

So my absence wasn’t personal or neglectful. It was necessary. COIVD caused a mild depression to kick in. Then there was the stress of the old job, then the stress of changing jobs, then the stress of the new job. So much going on, while still learning and navigating the new normal and the new way of living.

Photo by ANTONI SHKRABA on Pexels.com

All that to say that I am back. I have missed blogging, missed my audience, missed the interaction. There is so much to get caught up on and so much to share, so stay tuned.