A Happy Single Valentines Day

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I have spent more years than I can to admit as a single girl living in the big city.  While it can be overwhelming to see all of the things geared and marketed to couples, quite often it can feel as if single’s are left out on Valentine’s Day.  As a matter of fact there is no holiday where singles can celebrate or where the focus is on being single.  (Maybe I should advocate for a National Single’s Day) there may be one already but I have never heard of it.

Many singles dread Valentine’s Day because you get bombarded with couples and all of the things that couples do, the flowers, the candy, the candlelight and romance.  No one really thinks or considers what it may be like to be single for Valentine’s day and how these messages geared toward couples effect singles.  My message to singles is it that the day can be celebrated just a much by us as it is by couples.

There are many things that you can do as a single woman to celebrate Valentine’s day and I guess the first thing to think of is whether you mind or prefer being out with the couples or if your prefer to stay in.  Let’s start with staying in.

A Valentine’s Day spent in the house can be a  very enjoyable experience.  From catching up on the latest episodes of your favorite TV shows or movies to curling up with a good book or just doing nothing, this can be an opportunity to celebrate and enjoy yourself by yourself.  The day could also be spent sleeping in or eating all of your favorite junk foods in your sweats, no rules need apply.

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You can also prepare a romantic dinner for yourself, cook your favorite foods (including dessert) and break out the good china, candles and wine glasses.  Why not treat yourself and do something special just for you.  End the dinner with a nice candlelit bubble bath with a glass of champagne or your favorite wine to end the evening with a smile on your face.

If you decide to go out, Valentine’s Day can also be a day to catch up with your single friends, if you choose not to be alone. Retail therapy, lunch or dinner at your favorite restaurant or a chick flick would be the  perfect way to spend a Valentine’s Day.  Going out with your single friends helps you to remember that you are not alone and that you don’t have to be lonely.

Girls Night Out

You may also want to use this day to spend with friends or family.  You can spend the day with your parents or grandparents, or if you are a single parent your children.  You can join the other couples and head out to one of your favorite restaurants or just go out for a movie.  If you do not want to do anything major a simple evening at the local ice cream parlor after dinner can be a great Valentines treat.

And there is no rule that states that you cannot buy flowers or chocolate for yourself.  Why not?  More than anything else this is a great opportunity to think outside of the box.  Do what makes you happy  and do not get caught up in the hype that you have to be with someone in order to enjoy Valentine’s Day.  More than anything else the day should be one where self love is practiced and promoted and where YOU are the star of the show!

 

Stay Blessed!  Stay Fabulous!

pink-lips

 

 

What’s Your Relationship Bar?

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Recently, I have been having girl talk with several of my friends regarding their relationships.  We have all had those good, bad and indifferent relationships and as friends we have also shared our joy, fears and concerns.  Some of my friends are not quite sure what they want from their relationships, some friends have expressed fears such as a fear of being alone, while others are in a relationship and still feel lonely even though they are in a relationship.  All of these issues made my wonder does each person have a relationship bar?

Ok so what do I mean by relationship bar.  A relationship bar is the minimum requirements that you will accept in a relationship.  It is my opinion that as you grow and mature that you should raise the bar.  However for many people this may not be the case.

Relationship bars definitely vary from person to person and can also change according to what a person’s need and wants are for a relationship.  Some people may not have a relationship bar at all.  For some the bar can be their father, or just to opposite, someone who is the total opposite of their father.  For other women the bar could be set based on past relationships such as” I only want t be with someone who treats me better than my ex’, or it could be that they want someone who is just as good or equal to an ex (c0nsidering that it was a good relationship).

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Whatever the case may be, setting a bar in a relationship can be helpful.  It can help you to determine if the person you are dating is a good fit.  A relationship bar can also help you to be clear about expectations in a relationship and help you to determine if a potential partner is right for you.  While definitely not a requirement, a relationship bar can save you from a lot of trouble, heartache and time.

Personally, it has been important for me to take some time in between relationships just to evaluate what lessons I may have learned, what lessons I may have failed and what ultimately worked and did not work for me during the relationship.  This is also my time to reevaluate my relationship criteria or my relationship bar and determine what I would like in a potential mate.  So my questions to my readers are….do you have a relationship bar and if so what is your relationship bar based on?

 

Be Blessed….Be Fabulous

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