Recently, I have been having girl talk with several of my friends regarding their relationships. We have all had those good, bad and indifferent relationships and as friends we have also shared our joy, fears and concerns. Some of my friends are not quite sure what they want from their relationships, some friends have expressed fears such as a fear of being alone, while others are in a relationship and still feel lonely even though they are in a relationship. All of these issues made my wonder does each person have a relationship bar?
Ok so what do I mean by relationship bar. A relationship bar is the minimum requirements that you will accept in a relationship. It is my opinion that as you grow and mature that you should raise the bar. However for many people this may not be the case.
Relationship bars definitely vary from person to person and can also change according to what a person’s need and wants are for a relationship. Some people may not have a relationship bar at all. For some the bar can be their father, or just to opposite, someone who is the total opposite of their father. For other women the bar could be set based on past relationships such as” I only want t be with someone who treats me better than my ex’, or it could be that they want someone who is just as good or equal to an ex (c0nsidering that it was a good relationship).
Whatever the case may be, setting a bar in a relationship can be helpful. It can help you to determine if the person you are dating is a good fit. A relationship bar can also help you to be clear about expectations in a relationship and help you to determine if a potential partner is right for you. While definitely not a requirement, a relationship bar can save you from a lot of trouble, heartache and time.
Personally, it has been important for me to take some time in between relationships just to evaluate what lessons I may have learned, what lessons I may have failed and what ultimately worked and did not work for me during the relationship. This is also my time to reevaluate my relationship criteria or my relationship bar and determine what I would like in a potential mate. So my questions to my readers are….do you have a relationship bar and if so what is your relationship bar based on?
Be Blessed….Be Fabulous