Category: safe dating

What’s Your Relationship Bar?

relationship-bar

Recently, I have been having girl talk with several of my friends regarding their relationships.  We have all had those good, bad and indifferent relationships and as friends we have also shared our joy, fears and concerns.  Some of my friends are not quite sure what they want from their relationships, some friends have expressed fears such as a fear of being alone, while others are in a relationship and still feel lonely even though they are in a relationship.  All of these issues made my wonder does each person have a relationship bar?

Ok so what do I mean by relationship bar.  A relationship bar is the minimum requirements that you will accept in a relationship.  It is my opinion that as you grow and mature that you should raise the bar.  However for many people this may not be the case.

Relationship bars definitely vary from person to person and can also change according to what a person’s need and wants are for a relationship.  Some people may not have a relationship bar at all.  For some the bar can be their father, or just to opposite, someone who is the total opposite of their father.  For other women the bar could be set based on past relationships such as” I only want t be with someone who treats me better than my ex’, or it could be that they want someone who is just as good or equal to an ex (c0nsidering that it was a good relationship).

Relationshipbrokenglass

Whatever the case may be, setting a bar in a relationship can be helpful.  It can help you to determine if the person you are dating is a good fit.  A relationship bar can also help you to be clear about expectations in a relationship and help you to determine if a potential partner is right for you.  While definitely not a requirement, a relationship bar can save you from a lot of trouble, heartache and time.

Personally, it has been important for me to take some time in between relationships just to evaluate what lessons I may have learned, what lessons I may have failed and what ultimately worked and did not work for me during the relationship.  This is also my time to reevaluate my relationship criteria or my relationship bar and determine what I would like in a potential mate.  So my questions to my readers are….do you have a relationship bar and if so what is your relationship bar based on?

 

Be Blessed….Be Fabulous

pink-lips

Safety for Single Women

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In light of all of the things happening in our world today, I felt the need to share some tips for Single women in regard to being and remaining safe in this society.  I am a fan of the cable channel Investigation Discovery.  You can sit and watch shows on this channel all day long. A recent day of viewing shows on Investigation Discovery that chronicle the lives of women who have been victims led me to share a few tips I have learned about being safe as a single woman.

First of all, always let someone know where you are.  There should be someone in your life whether it be parent, friend or other loved one who you check in with every day.  That can be a simple, short phone call or texts that lets them know that you are doing well and not in any danger.  This is also true when it comes to dating, especially internet dating.  Let someone know where you are going and who you are meeting.  Provide as many details as possible, such as the other persons contact information, license plate numbers and make and model of cars.  In the case that you need to be found details will make the difference.  Another tip is to have a check in time.  This can be done in all instances.  Set a time with a reliable person and check in.  Excuse yourself to make the call and let them know that you are ok.

Know who you are meeting.  Spend as much time as YOU are comfortable with getting to know the other person.  Google them.  If they provide an address, google that.  In this day where many people meet in virtual surroundings, it is important that you do your due diligence because you ultimately never know who you may be meeting.  Ask questions that help you get to know the person, where did they go to school, where did they grow up?  You can also share as you are comfortable and know that you too may be googled.

When going on or meeting, be mindful of your surroundings.  Know where you are going and know how to get back home.  Never go anywhere that makes you uncomfortable.  Pick a location that is mutually agreed upon.  This may include studying the map or knowing specific landmarks.  Whatever the case getting lost in this age of technology should never be an issue.  Make sure you enable the GPS on your phone, you may never know when you may need to be located.  Learn to read a map and to use the navigational systems in your car (if you drive).

Trust your instincts.  Normally, if something does not feel right, there is a reason you feel that way.  If you are not feeling something or someone for that matter trust your gut.  Many issues could be prevented if people would only trust their instincts.  Technology is your friend.  Google is a wealth of information and a single girls best friend.  Google allows you to search for people, places and things.  Do your home work and make informed decisions.  Keep mental track of what you discover (you never know what may be useful later).

be safe

Always, always be careful.  These are just a few tips that I am offering which may refer mostly to dating, but which can also overlap into other areas of your life.  There are so many more tips (which will be shared later).  This is just to get you started and to allow you to make informed decisions as you go about enjoying you life and your dating experiences.  Feel free to share some of your own tips or how some of these tips may have helped you.