What’s Right with Being Single?

Independent owned

As a single woman I have often been asked why aren’t you married? I have also heard the question “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why don’t you have a man?” It is as if being single is a horrible predicament to be in and my life is incomplete without attachment. I have heard the question so many times that I have begun to come up with clever answers to the question. Recently, a family friend asked my mother when I was getting married, my response was “ask her what is wrong with simply asking how I am doing?” As a woman of a certain age, it seems as being single or unmarried is a death sentence.

Maybe society has it wrong and those of us who are single have it right. The last time I read the Bible it said “he who finds a wife finds a good thing.” I don’t remember reading everyone will find a wife and it will be a good thing. Maybe marriage is not for everyone, just look at the divorce rates. Maybe there are some people who will simply never marry and my question is what’s wrong with that?

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Far too often we get wrapped up in what other people expect of us or with how they think we should live our lives. We work hard trying to keep up appearances and be who others want us to be without being true to ourselves. I have been there, done that and have a T-shirt. I have come to the realization that this is my life and I must live it and own it, mistakes, successes and singleness. My life is what I make it and if I am happy, healthy and satisfied with my decisions why should it matter to anyone else.

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The moral of this blog is to do you. Love you. Be in love with you. Date yourself. Make sure that you are happy and complete and allow the cards to fall where they may. You may marry or you may remain single. You do not have to be miserable and lonely just because you are single. You have to live your life and be prepared for the blessings that will come your way.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being single. Don’t let anyone convince or corner you into thinking that it is. That is their issue not yours. Do not feel incomplete or diminished because you are not married. There are many married people that are not happy and miserable. Marriage cannot change how you feel at your core. Enjoy your life and cherish the moments that come. Learn from your relationship mistakes and allow you head and your heart to guide you to having and loving the life you have. All the Single Ladies Put Your Hands UP!

Mother’s Day Tribute

Mothers Day

What better way to pay tribute to the strong women who have made me into the woman I have become.  Though there are many who have played in a role in shaping who I am, I would be wrong if I were not honest about the images that contributed into making me the strong woman that I have become today.

My Mother

My mother may not realize this but she has played a major role in contributing to the woman I have become today.  My mother showed me a great deal about what I wanted to be and what I did not want to be.  My mother was the person who encouraged me to read and to be inquisitive and to always search for answers.  When in my youth I raised questions her response was always to “Look the answer up, why did I buy encyclopedias?”  This created my thirst for knowledge and made me to always look for answers even if it meant taking something apart.  My mother also showed me that there were some choices in life I would never want to make and those lessons lead me daily as I seek to learn, grown and expand my knowledge and my curiosity.  My mother is sensitive, sometime to a fault, and stubborn as a herd of mules, I may have inherited some of that as well.

My Grandmothers

Two women who were very different and very much alike.  Both of my grandmothers worked and supported their children as single parents.  I watch them both work, run households and cook like crazy.  I watch them budget finances, buy groceries and support and love their children unconditionally.  I watched them as they had their cocktails, smoked their Kool cigarettes and danced like they were on Soul Train.  I have watch both of my grandmothers love like there was nothing left to live, give as if their next breath depended on it, and cuss you out in a way that would make Redd Foxx or Eddie Murphy blush.  I have seen them both make a way out of no way and never bat an eye or expect anything in return.  I have seen them give to the point where it appeared that there was nothing left to give and then give some more.

My Aunts

I have seen my aunts do a range of things.  I have seen them battle demons and come back.  I have watched them raise children after divorce as single mothers and still find time to take vacations and take us to plays, or carnivals or on vacation.  It was my aunt who purchased my first bike and red and yellow Schwinn with the banana seat.  It was my aunts who sat me down and had some hard conversations with me as I was growing older and found myself in situations that were beyond my ability to handle or understand effectively.  My aunt showed me how to demand customer service and take nothing less than what I deserved.  My aunts have supported me in all my efforts, listened to me when I felt no one else would and loved me as if I was one of their children.

Host of other strong women

There have been a host of other strong women in my midst.  They range from family to friends to professors and co-workers.  I have learned from these women, cried and prayed with these women talked for hours with these women.  These women have also encouraged and inspired me to be my best self to live my dreams and to not be afraid to just do me.  These are strong, courageous, accomplished women.

The point is Mother’s Day is more than just celebrating the day for mothers.  Women do that every single day, day in and day out.  Mother’s Day if for celebrating the roles we play in each other’s lives and in the lives of others.  Mother’s Day is the day we let those women in our midst know that we love them and we love what they have taught us and what they do for us.  Mother’s Day is also the day that we remember the sacrifices of those who have gone before us, remembering what they taught us and the strength and character they built in us.  This is our greatest testimony to them.  I thank God for all of these women today and every day.