The New Normal

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There is a fact that America has to face.  Married life is not the norm anymore.  In fact there are more single in the world now more than ever before.  This is becoming the new normal.  Watch out world because here we come.

According to the US Census Bureau, single, professional, African American women are the largest growing demographic in the United States.  There are more single women that are heading households and running things.  Society would have us to think that there is something wrong with us, that we are too this or not enough of that (insert your this or that here).  The reality of the situation is that we are working more on us and less on please others.  We are learning that we do no have to apologize for getting that advanced degree or working longer hours so we can get that promotion.  As Beyoncé says “Who Run the World!”

who run the world

To all of the single women out there it is time to come out of hiding, it is time to no longer be ashamed because you are single.  As a matter of fact it is your time to shine.  It is time that we stop conforming to society to be who they think we should be and be proud of who we are and where we are at this point in our lives.  There is nothing wrong with marriage, I am a proponent of marriage when people marry for the right reasons and not just because they are lonely or pregnant.  There may be a time when marriage comes, but until then God has granted us lives to be lived not to be stagnant and waiting for what may or may not be.

The New Normal is the single, confident woman.  The woman that knows that she can be a dynamo in the boardroom and a loving and caring wife.  The New Normal is the woman who does not compromise because of some imaginary clock or the smooth talker that is attempting to sell her a dream.  The New Normal is the single woman that can be a Boss and a Blessing at the same time without skipping a beat.  The New Normal is the woman who is single and happy, not a depressed ‘spinster’ waiting on her knight in rusty armor.  We are the New Normal and we are proud because of this not in spite of this.


Shows about Single Women (Where are they Now?)

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If you came of age in the 80’s or 90’s like I did you saw television shows that had single women in them.  The 90’s was the height of shows about single, professional women with Living Single, Girlfriends and Sex and the City.  My question is what happened to this type of television programming?

There was nothing like waiting to see the adventures of the urban friends on Living Single.  Many of the characters were people we could relate to or similar to people we knew or aspired to be.  From the independent, sharp witted Maxine to Sinclair with her visionary ideas and off handed ways of doing things, the show made us laugh and made us think at the same time.  The show demonstrated the fun that happens as you are growing as well as the struggles and issues that can arise in daily life.  As I watch re-runs now, I think of how many of the things they experiences in the show I have since experienced in my coming of age.


Girlfriends was another popular show but I never really got into it.  I have tried to watch re-runs (as they are on often), but I just cannot get into the characters like I did Living Single and Sex and the City.  I still however appreciate that the characters in Living Single and Girlfriends had some similarities and offered some laughs as well as some moments of self-reflection.  This is what is missing, in my opinion, from current television programming.


Sex and the City was a more unrealistic view of life, especially for a young, black girl like me.  I do not know the experience of purchasing shoes that are the equivalent of car payment or the joys of going out most nights of the week.  Though the show remains one of my all-time favorites, it was a world of fantasy and excess that I will probably never know.  But the reality is that I still miss these types of television shows.

sex  and the city

Now we are bombarded by reality television and the ins and outs of people’s lives that often seem extreme and ridiculous.  Long gone are the weekly escapades of the fictitious and fun characters we came to grow and love.  Even shows such as Single Ladies on VH1 miss the mark and fail to reach the standards set by shows such as Living Single, Girlfriends and Sex and the City.  Current television programming leaves much to be desired and too much personal information out in the open.  Bring back good programming for women!