The Holy Trinity of Relationships


Some of us have been in some bad romantic relationships. For many of us, we have walked the line of what I like to call the Holy Trinity of Relationships. For some of us our relationships have caused us to get closer to our FAITH, contemplate the value of our FREEDOM or consider the consequences of committing a FELONY. I know for me I have definitely had to work on this Holy Trinity. Fortunately Faith always wins (or has so far).

Again for most of us relationships are great. I have been in some good relationships and I have also been in some not so good relationships. All relationships have their issues. One of the reasons so many people resonated with Beyonce’s Lemonade was that it ultimately took us on the journey many of us have been on in our relationships. Let’s be honest and let’s be real, many of us have visited the relationship Holy Trinity Faith, Felony, Freedom.


Many of us have believed and prayed to God for that ‘perfect’ significant other. Some of us have lists of qualifications tucked away in our Bibles or taped inside of our journals. We have prayed for God to send our ‘other half’ or ‘better half’ and when we think we have found him or her all is right in our world. And then life happens. Our relationship faith gets placed on life support because we find ourselves wondering if this person was in fact the answer to our prayers or one of the devil’s minions.

Now I have learned over the course of the years that the old song “It’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate” is truer than most of us realize. There is something about relationships that make you happy and smile one minute and then contemplate your sanity and your freedom the next minute. I have sat at the intersection of God and felonious assault many nights. Ultimately, I always returned to the value I placed on my own freedom and decided that Orange would not be my new Black.

My Faith and my Freedom have been what has ultimately kept me from ‘catching a case”. I have visited the place of wanting to kick some ass, and I have told him to call the side chick and leave me alone. I am not one of those chicks who value a relationship more than my sanity and my freedom. I would rather be single and free than a coloredgirlwhohasconsideredwhoopingsomeasswhenmyasswasnotenough.

This is what make us happy about Lemonade. In addition to seeing some of our truths played out on the screen, it is refreshing to know that Bey also feels our pain, and has traveled down that road as well. While I cannot personally afford to hire a set designer and purchase props to destroy, I have definitely had some days when I wish I had a baseball bat so that I could destroy some shit. Luckily, all of my stuff is still intact.

Bey Lemonade

No matter what your critique may be about Lemonade or Bey or whoever else, I have to admit that I have been down that road before. Before Lemonade, I was singing along with Jazmine Sullivan “I’ll Bust the Windows Out Your Car“. I saw myself in many of those images that were represented in Lemonade. The words that were strategically placed across the screen that indicated the stages of the breakdown and rebuilding of a relationship resonated with me. The pain and the emotion invoked throughout the video were powerful and impactful. It was emotional for me watching it. Despite the deep meaning and imagery and heavy critique and profound dialogue that Lemonade invokes as well as the latest phenomenal Lemonade Syllabus, inspired by the mind of a great sister scholar, this is my not so deep, but personal, relational, feeling thinking contribution to the Lemonade and my Holy Trinity of Relationships.



Plus Size Promotion

Sound Off Sunday

This Sound off Sunday is all about the recent wins in the Plus Size industry.

It has been hard being Plus Size or Full Figured in this day and age.  There used to be a struggle to find clothes that were not only sized correctly, but that were also fashionable and trendy. I am pleased that all black is a thing of the past and that plus sized women now can find clothing options that suit their personality as well as their figure.  No matter where you fall in the discussion of Plus Size, lately Plus Sized women are all over the place.  Gracing the coveted cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, the cover of Ebony,  and the fashion week shows in almost every major market.

I want to thank the media outlets for having the courage to go against the grain and cater to an often forgotten population.  I want to thank the Models:  Ashley Graham, Chrisette Michelle, Jazmine Sullivan, Gabi Fresh and Danielle Brooks.  You guys rock! There are also so many curvy pioneers that are too numerous to name.  I salute you all too!

The past few weeks have made me more proud than ever to be a part of the plus size/full figured community.  It is wonderful that people are finally starting to recognize that not all full figured women are unhealthy or morbidly obese.  There are just some curvy women in the world who wear their sizes well.  It has always amazed me how concerned people are with plus size/ full figured women but not concerned with women who are scarily thin (which is just as unhealthy).  Anyway I am happy of what the media has put out for us fuller figured women these past few weeks.