The Holy Trinity of Relationships


Some of us have been in some bad romantic relationships. For many of us, we have walked the line of what I like to call the Holy Trinity of Relationships. For some of us our relationships have caused us to get closer to our FAITH, contemplate the value of our FREEDOM or consider the consequences of committing a FELONY. I know for me I have definitely had to work on this Holy Trinity. Fortunately Faith always wins (or has so far).

Again for most of us relationships are great. I have been in some good relationships and I have also been in some not so good relationships. All relationships have their issues. One of the reasons so many people resonated with Beyonce’s Lemonade was that it ultimately took us on the journey many of us have been on in our relationships. Let’s be honest and let’s be real, many of us have visited the relationship Holy Trinity Faith, Felony, Freedom.


Many of us have believed and prayed to God for that ‘perfect’ significant other. Some of us have lists of qualifications tucked away in our Bibles or taped inside of our journals. We have prayed for God to send our ‘other half’ or ‘better half’ and when we think we have found him or her all is right in our world. And then life happens. Our relationship faith gets placed on life support because we find ourselves wondering if this person was in fact the answer to our prayers or one of the devil’s minions.

Now I have learned over the course of the years that the old song “It’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate” is truer than most of us realize. There is something about relationships that make you happy and smile one minute and then contemplate your sanity and your freedom the next minute. I have sat at the intersection of God and felonious assault many nights. Ultimately, I always returned to the value I placed on my own freedom and decided that Orange would not be my new Black.

My Faith and my Freedom have been what has ultimately kept me from ‘catching a case”. I have visited the place of wanting to kick some ass, and I have told him to call the side chick and leave me alone. I am not one of those chicks who value a relationship more than my sanity and my freedom. I would rather be single and free than a coloredgirlwhohasconsideredwhoopingsomeasswhenmyasswasnotenough.

This is what make us happy about Lemonade. In addition to seeing some of our truths played out on the screen, it is refreshing to know that Bey also feels our pain, and has traveled down that road as well. While I cannot personally afford to hire a set designer and purchase props to destroy, I have definitely had some days when I wish I had a baseball bat so that I could destroy some shit. Luckily, all of my stuff is still intact.

Bey Lemonade

No matter what your critique may be about Lemonade or Bey or whoever else, I have to admit that I have been down that road before. Before Lemonade, I was singing along with Jazmine Sullivan “I’ll Bust the Windows Out Your Car“. I saw myself in many of those images that were represented in Lemonade. The words that were strategically placed across the screen that indicated the stages of the breakdown and rebuilding of a relationship resonated with me. The pain and the emotion invoked throughout the video were powerful and impactful. It was emotional for me watching it. Despite the deep meaning and imagery and heavy critique and profound dialogue that Lemonade invokes as well as the latest phenomenal Lemonade Syllabus, inspired by the mind of a great sister scholar, this is my not so deep, but personal, relational, feeling thinking contribution to the Lemonade and my Holy Trinity of Relationships.



What Inspires You?

what inspires you

This could be a loaded question or one of those posts that takes forever to answer.  When I look back over my life, I can say that there were and are many people and things that inspire me.  It would be extremely difficult to think of one thing or one person who inspires me but I will try my best.

First and foremost I would look to those closest to me and would have to say my grandmothers were my first inspirations.  One raised three children by cleaning the houses of others and one worked her good government job until she was able to retire while dealing with domestic violence and other issues that would have probably killed others with less strength.  These are two amazing and strong women, one who is no longer with us and one who is, that taught me many valuable lessons as well as how to cook.  I would say that they are my first inspirations.  There are also other people in my family that inspire me.  Some who raised children as single parents, others who overcame addictions and those who choose to better themselves in spite of their circumstances.

My second inspiration is a direct result of teachings from my grandmothers and that is God and my faith.  I learned early the importance of prayer and asking God for what I needed and for help.  It was my grandmothers that taught me first before I learned to know God for myself.  The teachings that they gave me provided me the curiosity that led me into ministry and continues to inspire me to be better and greater.  God inspires me because I know and understand that apart from God I am nothing.  There is no one or anything else that can do what God does or has the ability to work the way God can.

I have also been inspired by some of the best educators and scholars in the world.  From my Pastor Emeritus and current Pastor to those who grew and developed me during my educational journey,  my life has held many inspirational people that influenced me to do and be my best and who encouraged and supported me along the way.


I also must include my friends who have also inspired and encouraged me along the way.  I have the BEST friends in the world.  They come from all walks of life and range from medical professionals to engineers to educators and counselors and ministers.  They have inspired me by living their lives as a testimony to great strength and character.


I can also say that I have been inspired by love.  I have been blessed to experience unconditional love that I never thought I would find.  As a matter of fact I had given up on love and love found me.  This love has inspired me to be my best and do my best and to succeed.  This love stays up late to keep me company when I have assignments and deadlines to meet.  This love inspires me to go beyond my comfort zone and achieve my greatest desires.  This love also inspires me to love and to love unconditionally.

I can say hat I have many inspirations.  More than what was shared here.  I hope that everyone can be as blessed as I have been to find inspiration as I have.