Lately, my life has been in a holding pattern, I would dare say a self-imposed holding pattern. There are things that are going great in my life and things that are not so great. There have been struggles, victories and days where I just wanted to stay in bed and eat a bucket of French vanilla ice cream. There have been some high highs and some low lows. What I am beginning to realize is that I have been my own worst enemy.
There have been times in my life where I felt that I didn’t deserve the good things, the easy things and that everything would be a fight, a struggle a WWE level wrestling match. While my job and career are spent to a large degree helping and motivating others, there are times when I lack self-motivation and I find myself needing to be motivated, helped and pushed. I am just keeping it real, there are some days where it is a real struggle.
There are times when it takes as much energy to smile as it does to lift a 200lb weight, and the tears come from out of the blue and flow non-stop. There are times when I have to repeatedly remind myself of all of the blessings around me and all of the things I have survived, endured, overcome, but it still feels as though it is just not enough. Then there are times when on this entrepreneurial journey, where I question if leaving the comfort of my 9-5 was worth it, even though I know the job was killing me emotionally and mentally. There are the times when there are more bills than money and more responsibilities than time in the day.
There are those moments when you make every attempt to be vulnerable and helpful only to end up misunderstood and judged. The people you thought knew you best turn out to be as much of a stranger as people you don’t know at all. You put on the makeup, the hair, the perfect outfit but you are no more than a mannequin on display for those around you. The face is smiling but the eyes say nothing.
The reality of the situation is that sometimes the hardest thing to do is to love yourself and the life you are living. The other hard thing to do is to change your thinking, change your circumstances and change your situation. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t you are right”. How true and powerful that statement is. It is often hard to find peace in the darkness because the light exposes too much.
I have come to realize that I am in a valley. Not buried, definitely not dead but in a valley. And while there are some not so good things in the valley, you can also find some great things in the valley. So while I journey through this valley experience I can say with firm conviction:
I am ok
I am going to make it
I won’t be in the valley forever
Look out for the person that emerges from this valley; she will be a conqueror
This valley will make me stronger, wiser and better
Be Blessed Be Fabulous!
This Single Sole 
I love your transparency. You know we all have those moments and days. The good thing is that you recognize it but you also know you will conquer it. I question myself about pursuing my goal of a Christian Life Coach/Yoga Instructor and leaving my job. What I do know is that when you uplift others many times you are giving yourself that talk as well. It’s keeps you lifted and motivated when you are doing the same for others. Many blessings!
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You are very welcome. We must affirm ourselves at all times.
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Thank you for those blessings they are well received. I have an academy for new coaches, if you want to discuss making it happen for you let me know.
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Oooh, I can so relate to this entire blog post. No matter how many tears I cry I have to keep in mind that the valley won’t last always and that we HAVE to remind ourselves how blessed we are. Negative self talk has a way of sneaking up and attacking when we least expect it. Also thank you for including the affirmations at the end. Great post!
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It definitely can be really hard sometimes to love ourselves and where we’re at in life. My mother always said, you’ve only got this moment once in life, cherish it.
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The had times make it easier to appreciate the good time. It does not remain dark forever!
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This is a well-written expression of your feelings. Thank you for sharing and being so transparent.
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Thank you for reading
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Thank you for being transparent. I know this feeling all to well and it sucks. Stay encoraged love.
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Thank You for the encouragement
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Love your transparency! Sometimes we go into the valley and find peace, and I hope that is what you find while you are there, and you come out ready to tackle everything head on. **HUGS** Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks for the virtual hug, it was need and received.
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love this line ” It is often hard to find peace in the darkness because the light exposes too much.” Thank you for sharing and being transparent.
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There is joy in the struggle. It sounds like you have a great handle on your feelings and where you are. That is good. I can’t wait to hear about your triumph after this story.
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We all enter that valley at times during our life. For some the walk is longer than others but, ultimately, for those that emerge…we come out stronger.
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I can see a little pain in your eyes. I am happy you are being vocal about it, because you should bottle it up inside. Do some things to lift your spirit, meditate, listen to some music that you love, i love doing guided meditation on youtube and positive affirmations on there too. Seek things to raise your vibes and I know things will get better for you!
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Yes when I looked at pictures from the past few weeks I saw the sadness there. I am on the way back to me. Thank you for the suggestions.
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I love your affirming statements for while you’re in your valley. They are so true and it will definitely make you stronger and better!
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Thank you so much for sharing this honest post. I love all of your affirming statements for being in a valley. I can totally relate and you will come out bigger, better, and stronger with your breakthrough around every corner of your life!
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Thank you!
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