Safety for Single Women

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In light of all of the things happening in our world today, I felt the need to share some tips for Single women in regard to being and remaining safe in this society.  I am a fan of the cable channel Investigation Discovery.  You can sit and watch shows on this channel all day long. A recent day of viewing shows on Investigation Discovery that chronicle the lives of women who have been victims led me to share a few tips I have learned about being safe as a single woman.

First of all, always let someone know where you are.  There should be someone in your life whether it be parent, friend or other loved one who you check in with every day.  That can be a simple, short phone call or texts that lets them know that you are doing well and not in any danger.  This is also true when it comes to dating, especially internet dating.  Let someone know where you are going and who you are meeting.  Provide as many details as possible, such as the other persons contact information, license plate numbers and make and model of cars.  In the case that you need to be found details will make the difference.  Another tip is to have a check in time.  This can be done in all instances.  Set a time with a reliable person and check in.  Excuse yourself to make the call and let them know that you are ok.

Know who you are meeting.  Spend as much time as YOU are comfortable with getting to know the other person.  Google them.  If they provide an address, google that.  In this day where many people meet in virtual surroundings, it is important that you do your due diligence because you ultimately never know who you may be meeting.  Ask questions that help you get to know the person, where did they go to school, where did they grow up?  You can also share as you are comfortable and know that you too may be googled.

When going on or meeting, be mindful of your surroundings.  Know where you are going and know how to get back home.  Never go anywhere that makes you uncomfortable.  Pick a location that is mutually agreed upon.  This may include studying the map or knowing specific landmarks.  Whatever the case getting lost in this age of technology should never be an issue.  Make sure you enable the GPS on your phone, you may never know when you may need to be located.  Learn to read a map and to use the navigational systems in your car (if you drive).

Trust your instincts.  Normally, if something does not feel right, there is a reason you feel that way.  If you are not feeling something or someone for that matter trust your gut.  Many issues could be prevented if people would only trust their instincts.  Technology is your friend.  Google is a wealth of information and a single girls best friend.  Google allows you to search for people, places and things.  Do your home work and make informed decisions.  Keep mental track of what you discover (you never know what may be useful later).

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Always, always be careful.  These are just a few tips that I am offering which may refer mostly to dating, but which can also overlap into other areas of your life.  There are so many more tips (which will be shared later).  This is just to get you started and to allow you to make informed decisions as you go about enjoying you life and your dating experiences.  Feel free to share some of your own tips or how some of these tips may have helped you.

I’m Every Woman

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Most of us are familiar with the female anthem “I’m Every Woman” originally made famous by Chaka Khan and then remixed and remastered by the late, great Whitney Houston.  When it comes on te radio we can often be found in our cars or in the shower singing along with them.  As I sat back and reflected on my life as a Single Professional Woman, one of the things that I am repeatedly reminded of is that I am in fact Every Woman.

What does this mean?  Does it mean that I am one of those emasculating females who feels that feels that men are expendable or that I don’t need a man because I am every woman.  Absolutely not.  It means that as a fact of life, I have been forced for whatever reason to be every woman.  As I live and move throughout my life I realize and recognize that in my life it is not lost on my that I have to depend on myself for everything.  The bottom line is if I don’t work, I don’t eat, I don’t pay bills, I don’t drive, I don’t pay for where I live.  Though I do have family, as an adult working woman it is my responsibility to take care of myself and to make sure that my needs are met.  This is the reality until I am married or until I can no longer care for myself.

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Recent census statistics show that single, professional, African American women are the fastest and largest growing demographic in this society.  What this means is that for whatever reason we are delaying marriage longer than ever before.  What this also means is that we have more responsibility in life than ever before.  Many of us manage careers.  Many manage careers and children.  Some of us manage careers, children and aging parents.  Some of us work.  Some of us work and go to school.  Some of us work more than two jobs, not because we want to but because we have to.  Some of us enjoy being single and the certain since of freedom singleness brings.  Some of us are dating or in relationships and may even live with significant others.  Others desire to be married or partnered.  Whatever our reality may be, the fact remains that we are still Every Woman.

As the song says there are things that we do naturally.  Our day may consist of the gym, work, shopping for groceries or household items, time with friends and/or family whether in person or on the phone, parental duties, cooking, cleaning, work we brought home because everything does not always get done in eight hours or whatever the case may be.  These are the things that make us Every woman.

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I salute and applaud all of the women who find themselves in this category.  It is not always easy and it is not always without some struggle or compromise.  There are good days and great days and of course there are bad days.  There are girls’ nights out, trips with family and/or friends and time for manis and pedis.  There may be time to date, time to burn the midnight oil for that next promotion or career advancement.  There may be appointment with parents or arrangements made for care for parents, or the same arrangements for children.

After all of that exhausting work and responsibility, the next time you hear the song I’m Every Woman, smile to yourself and think about how you manage to make all of those things work and how you do it with little or no effort or complaint.  You just do it.  Think of those you love and those who love you and do a little dance because you deserve it.  Remember there is not anything wrong with being Every Woman, it is just your station at this point in life and that is fine.  Here’s to Every Woman…it’s  all in me…and you..